So, I've successfully managed to "blow away" audiences with my performance so far. We've had 4 shows and all of them more or less ragingly good reviews. Oh gods. I don't handle all this praise well...as much as I truly appreciate it because let's face it, for the last month I have done nothing but work and go to rehearsals...but I still get super awkward with strangers telling me how well I did and how "believable" I was as Gertrude. We had a huge opening night party on Friday. There were easily 60 people there and SOTA paid for all the food. I was incredibly drunk....and well, flirty. Let's say flirty with people I'm totally interested in. Hah. Thank you liquid courage.
It's going to be weird after this show ends because I have NO theatre once Hamlet's done...and it's sorta sad. I think I could really use the break though before I do another bout of auditions. Having December to just work and be social is actually sorta the best thing to do right now. I'm just worried about getting show depression...especially since 2008, I have done a show every other month practically. Humm

I've also REALLY noticed a lot about myself since I started focusing on acting. I've always considered myself a Histrionic, although clearly never diagnosed as such. Manic depressive, yes. Histrionic, not officially. If you don't know what a Histrionic personality is...it's essentially the Wikipedia definition: attention-seeking, including an excessive need for approval and inappropriate seductiveness, usually beginning in early adulthood. These individuals are lively, dramatic, enthusiastic, and flirtatious. They may be inappropriately sexually provocative, express strong emotions with an impressionistic style, and be easily influenced by others.
Associated features may include egocentricity, self-indulgence, continuous longing for appreciation, feelings that are easily hurt, and persistent manipulative behaviour to achieve own needs.

Essentially, I've always considered this to be me in a nutshell. I don't like it, but I accept the fact that in my group of friends (I'm talking my close knit circle), I am the "life of the party." I'm the planner, I'm the one who spends the evening making others laugh or I'm shocking them with my word vomit. I get huffy when things don't work out the way I plan and yes, I do manipulate my family and friends...in a soft manner, in order to have things work out in my favour. I'm also incredibly sexually inappropriate, and don't often think of editing my thoughts or feelings for the sake of others.
Now....turn to me in the theatre world....where pretty much EVERYONE is a Histrionic personality. I say pretty much because in truth, not everyone is. It may just seem natural because actors are lively, energetic, dramatic (hah) and they seek approval and attention. It's why they act. They enjoy praise and appreciation for their efforts. Also, theatre people are wildly sexually inappropriate with one another. Theatre's also incredibly self-indulgent and essentially actors are able (if they're good) to manipulate the audience into thinking and feeling whatever they want.
Working with some people on this show has made me realize that while I may associate myself as a Histrionic, I am definitely not as bad as I thought. There are some people in my cast who just irritate the hell out of me with their constant starvation of attention. Everything, every situation, every hint of gossip is what they thrive on or need to be apart of. It makes it harder to trust or put up with them. It makes me sad too, because seeing them in this light makes me wonder if I could ever be true friends with them beyond the walls of the theatre. Anyway...it's funny because I'm always the confident in theatre. People feel compelled to tell me everything hahaha I'm definitely the least likely to starve for spotlight and I completely shy away from spotlight and praise. Weird isn't it?

Other than that, I'm enjoying being on stage. Hamlet's so dear to me...and despite it being raped to a mere 90 minutes...it's a damn good show.
Work bodes well. I got my raise and my clothing allowance. Hooray! Hours are steady. I'm really glad.

I'm also excited for tonight. Michael and I are going to see My Mother's Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding in Toronto. Should be hysterical. It's a musical. hahaha
I'm also seeing Avenue Q on the 29th. SOOOOO excited. My friend Andrea and I have excellent seats in the orchestra.

Wheeee. Life's good.
xo